Nine Years and Now You're Here
by XxNeverxLosexHopexX
Summary: Nick Clark was the one person in Tasha's life she felt complete with, until he disappeared entirely from her life. After her parents died and she's left to live with the Clarks, the entire world goes to hell. Will the apocalypse change her? Or will Tasha be able to find something to fight for? Nick Clark X OC !
1. Chapter 1

Nine Years and Now You're Here - A Fear The Walking Dead Fanficfion (Nick Clark X OC)

Chapter One

Nine Years in the Making

** Welcome to my Fear The Walking Dead Fanficfion! My OC's name is Tasha, and this first chapter is mainly back story into how she knows the Clarks, and what her situation is before the outbreak. I hope you all enjoy, make sure to leave a review/feedback to let me know what you think! **

Most days I felt like I was drowning. All of the emotions running through my brain at eighteen, the hormones, the teen drama, all of it consumed me. Just like him.

When my parents and I moved the States, I was 5. We lived in a calm neighbourhood with a lot of children my age; As an only child, I was terrified of being an outcast in a neighbourhood full of new people to know. The new kid on the block, so to speak.

As weeks passed, I became more aware of my new surroundings. Across the street from my house lived a family of four, a father, mother, daughter and brother, both around my age.

On a hot day in the summer heat, I was sitting on the front lawn, colouring on the sidewalk with my purple chalk. My parents were across the street talking to the Clarks, but I stayed back, preferring my own company. That is until I met Alicia and Nick.

My hands were stained with a colourful chalk residue as the heat beat down on me. I could hear the screams of children echoing through the streets, and the laughter of my parents and the Clarks. It took me a moment to notice the shadow in front of me, and a small, girly voice speaking. "Hi!"

Little did I know that in that moment I had just met my best friend for life.

Alicia and I were in the same grade. We would play together most days in the summer, and after that we were never really separated. Her older brother, Nick, hung around us a lot, too. They weren't at my house, I would be at their's. Madison, their mother, quickly became like an Aunt to me, while their father became like an Uncle. They were my second family.

The years went by, and with it the closer I became to not only Alicia, but to Nick as well. Nick always confused me, even as the crush I had as a child on him grew, I kept it to myself. He was Alicia's brother, and my friend, and I wasn't going to risk that.

I was eleven when my parents told me their father had died. Nick changed after that. He was a completely different person. He ran away from home, and began digging himself into a hole that Madison couldn't save him from. Rehab after rehab, nothing seemed to help. He was away for months at a time, and eventually I just quit expecting him to show up.

I did all I could to help Alicia grieve for her father. She was confused for a very long time, but I'd like to think I helped her when she needed it most. At times I felt like I was alone through all of it, losing one of my best friends and watching my other struggle through her grief.

Everything was okay for a while. Alicia and I went to high school, became friends with more people and continued to strengthen our friendship through stupid things like truth or dare, shopping and sleepovers. We would spend hours talking about the cute boys in our class', and bitch about the mean girls who wouldn't shut up. Our sisterly bond made me feel like I was on top of the world.

On December 15th, 2014 my entire life was flipped upside down.

All I could see for a long time were bright lights and blurred faces. My thoughts dulled by a sharp throbbing pain radiating throughout my body. I looked down slowly, blood oozing from a wound in my abdomen. "Mom?!" I screamed out, thrashing about the gurney trying to spot my parents. "Dad?!"

What I saw, was something no child should ever see.

Both of my parents' bodies were mangled in a way I could only describe as hell on earth. I knew in that moment, that they were already gone.

The funeral was a small gathering, a few of my parents friends that I didn't know, and Madison, Alicia, and somehow, Nick.

I didn't notice him at first. I didn't notice anyone as the rain began to fall on my parents coffins. Everyone else had left, and I stayed behind to give one final farewell to my parents. Except when the moment came, I couldn't find the words to speak, or even the thoughts to think. All I could focus on was the pitter-patter of rain falling around me.

"I didn't think you'd show up." My voice was quiet, almost a whisper as I spoke.

Nick walked by me, setting a flower on my parents grave. He turned to look at me after a moment, a soft expression on his face. "I'm sorry about your parents, Tash."

I gave a small nod, slowly looking up to meet his gaze. For the first time in months I was able to look at him. He looked terrible, his hair was a mess, he had dark circles under his eyes and his clothes were ripped at the ends. But he showed up when I needed him, and that was enough for me.

Nick walked up to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me into a tight hug. "It'll be alright. I'm here, okay? My mom, Alicia – we're all here for you, Tash."

My body shook slightly as I nodded, my chest feeling heavy as I wrapped my arms around him. "My parents are dead, Nick." My voice cracked as I tried to hold back the tears. "They're gone and I don't know what to do!"

Nick pulled back far enough to look at my face. He pushed my hair away, a small, sad smile on his face. "For a long time you'll have to live day by day. Some days, like today, are going to be the worse , others will be better. Over time the worse days become less, and the good days will become more. All you can do is try."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

You Were There, Now You're Here

** _PRESENT DAY**_

"Hey, Alicia!" I skipped into her house happily, shutting the door behind me. Even though I had been living at my house across the street for the past few months, I still came over every morning to get driven to school by Madison. I was terrified of driving, and after the accident that hadn't changed.

"Hey Tash! I'm in here!"

Alicia was in the bathroom brushing her teeth. She only was wearing a towel and I laughed. "Well, you sure look ready for school." I jabbed, running a comb through my long, auburn hair. "Aren't we going to be late?"

"Mom's on the phone with someone right now, and Travis is fixing the sink." Alicia mumbled, snatching the comb from my hands and using it. "Besides, since when do you care if we're late for school?"

I stepped out of the bathroom, pulling my hair back. "I care because after school Luke said he'd pick me up." I smirked at her, walking beside her. "Besides, your mom seems to like him! It's only you who has a problem with him." I groaned, looking at her. She had a disapproving look on her face. I knew she didn't think he was the right guy for me, but c'mon, she had a boyfriend and seemed happy, and I wanted that too.

"You know, I don't think Mom would like him as much if she knew you were screwing him nearly every night."

I pushed her gently, narrowing my eyes. "Oh, come on! It's not like I could spend my entire life waiting for Nick to get a clue, besides, when was the last time you even heard from him?"

Alicia walked by me, going into the kitchen. "Was that Nick?" She asked Madison as I trudged in behind her. I raised my eyebrows, why would Nick be phoning out of the blue.

"He's in the hospital."

"Is he okay?" I asked abruptly, looking from her to Travis. My thoughts were scrambled in an attempt to calm my heart from racing.

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm going to go see him. I can drop you guys off at school first-"

"No way! I'm going too." Alicia piped up, running into her bedroom to get dressed.

I stood silently, rubbing the back of my neck. "I guess I'll tag along, too. Luke can pick me up after and drop me off at home."

Madison nodded, but I could tell she was distracted. "Madi, I'm sure he's okay. It's Nick, he's a tough guy." I smiled at her, giving her a small hug as Alicia walked out to join us and Travis.

As I sat in the car next to Alicia, my thoughts were racing. I hadn't seen Nick in over a year now. And I had hoped to keep it that way. I was happy, sort of, with Luke, and I had thought I could finally move on from thinking him and I could ever have a future together.

When Travis pulled up to the hospital, my heart dropped. I knew at that moment I wouldn't be able to let it go; let him go. I trudged through the halls after Madison, coming to a halt as we came to his room. I looked at her wearily. "I'll wait here..."

Madison smiled sadly at me and nodded before walking through the door. "Are you sure?" Alicia asked quietly. "I'm sure he'd wanna see you."

"I, well, after you guys say hello I'll pop in for a second." I mumbled, siting down on the floor.

Half an hour later both Travis and Alicia stepped out of the room. I stood slowly, glancing at them nervously. "Mom's just saying goodbye to him," Alicia stated, a grin on her face. "He asked about you, you know."

I was taken aback, but I smiled. "Did he?"

She nodded, her grin widening. "You're blushing."

I rolled my eyes, pushing past her playfully as I stepped into the room. I glanced over at Madison to make sure it was alright. She gave me a kind smile, looking between her son and I for a moment. "I'll be outside."

When she was gone, I allowed myself to look at Nick for a moment. I breathed in a short breath as I took in his appearance. He looked no more worse for wear than all of the other times he had relapsed, except this time he was more psychologically affected. His hair was long and a complete mess, and his skin was fairly pale.

"Tasha." Nick breathed after a moment which snapped me out of my thoughts. "You look good. Healthy."

I almost smirked, amused that of all things to call me, he would say I look healthy. I then thought back to the last time he would have seen me and cringed. "Well, I haven't overdosed on any drugs recently so yeah, I'm pretty healthy." I took another step towards him. "You don't look so good though. Although, for getting hit by a car you're no worse for wear."

Nick frowned, sitting up slightly. "I know you're upset with me."

"That's the biggest understatement of the year." I mumbled, looking anywhere but him. Of course I was mad at him, I overdosed on his drugs and when I woke up he was gone.

"I couldn't stay." Nick spoke quietly. "I wasn't going to drag you down the hole that I'm in."

I scoffed. "Look, I'm not here to talk about why you left when I overdosed. I just..." I trailed off, playing with my hair to diffuse the tension.

"You just what?" Nick's soft voice enticed me, his brown eyes searching mine.

I sighed. "I wanted to see you." I admitted, smiling slightly. "When Madison said you were in the hospital I thought you were dead, or something. I was worried. But, now I see that you're still the same old you." My smile turned into a frown as I looked away from him. This was what he'd do. He'd show up, try for a month, then fall back to the drugs and disappear for months on end. I couldn't handle that again. He had to fix himself.

"Tasha, c'mon, I'm trying the best I can." Nick pleaded, grabbing onto my hand.

"Are you, Nick? Because all I hear are excuses. I understand how tough drug addiction is to control, but at this rate you won't live to be 25! I can't keep sitting around wondering if my friend is going to wind up dead. I can't do that. I care about you too much..." I trailed off, hearing footsteps behind me.

"Tasha? Are you ready to go?"

I turned around, smiling at Luke. "Yeah, I'll be down in a minute."

Luke nodded, placing his hand on my shoulder a moment before walking off. Nick looked at me with a confused glance. "Who was that?"

"Luke Graham. He's my boyfriend." I smiled slightly, rubbing the back of my neck. "Look, I gotta go Nick. But it was nice to see you."

"Tasha, I'm gonna get better, and I'm gonna get sobered up."

I smiled at him once more before turning my back. "I hope you do. Goodbye, Nick."

It broke my heart to leave, but I couldn't save him. Nick had to save himself, the same as I had to.

Luke was a kind man. He truly was. But he wasn't him. I tried for so long to push my love onto Luke, but even as Luke held onto my hand tightly as we drove away from the hospital, I felt distant from him. He was a safe choice, he had a good job, and sure he was nearly five years older than me, but that's why I needed- stability. He could handle me at my darkest moments, and could bring me back up again.

"I have to work tonight," Luke sighed, bringing my hand up to his lips. "But I'll be back at midnight, alright? There's some food for you on the counter."

I forced a small smile. "Okay. Thanks for the ride, babe." I kissed him on the cheek gently before stepping out of the car.

"Hey, are you gonna be okay?" Luke called as I walked towards the house. "I know how much he means to you."

I smiled slightly. "Yeah, I'll be okay! See you later!" I waved until he drove around the corner, letting out an exasperated sigh.

This is going to be a long day.


	3. Chapter 3

Nine Years and Now You're Here

***Thank you all so much for reading and leaving reviews! It means a lot to know people like my story! Continue to leave reviews so I know to continue the story :) ***

Chapter Three

Dead Zone

A few days later I still found myself thinking about Nick. Luke had been working non-stop, so most days I was left alone. I didn't mind it, I was better off alone. It hurt less to be held up in my house by myself than to be around people who always ended up hurting me.

"Shit, I gotta go to work today!" I sighed exasperated as I grabbed my purse from the counter, locking up the house. I couldn't be late to work again. Luke still isn't picking up, I'll just have to take the bus.

I looked over in dismay as Nick ran up to me, a unsure, frightened expression on his face. "Tasha, thank God!" He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close.

I staggered back a little, patting his back gently. He didn't seem like himself. "Hi, Nick." I pulled out of his grasp slowly, raising my eyebrows at him. "Look, I'm going to be late for work. We'll talk later, okay?" I began to walk by him but he grabbed my arm frantically. I turned to him, an annoyed expression on my face. Now is not the time, Clark.

"No! Tasha, no, you have to come with me. It's not safe out there, please you have to come with me." Nick pleaded, his grip on my arm tightening to the point of numbness.

I sighed impatiently. "Nick, c'mon, people are getting sick but it's not like it's World War III or something. I'll be fine." I attempted to rip my arm from his grasp, but he merely grabbed onto my shoulders, shaking his head.

"Look, Tasha - I, I can explain inside just please, please I'm begging you come with me. Please. I wouldn't ask you if I wasn't being serious."

I looked into his eyes, searching for the truth. When he was desperate for drugs he always made things up, but for once this seemed to be something he was serious about. I sighed in defeat. "Alright, Nick. But you better explain everything to me."

"Do you understand now?"

Nick had attempted to explain to me why he was so worried, but I was still skeptical. "Nick, that seems like a far stretch - People dying and coming back to life? Eating other people?" I sighed, glancing over at Madison who was getting ready to go to the school to get drugs for Nick. Nick was on the verge of puking his guts out, and I was trying to comfort him, while still questioning what he had told me.

I was still silently waiting for a phone call from Luke. I continuously checked my phone, but hours went by and he still hadn't phoned back. "I know you wouldn't make something like this up, Nick. And I'm gonna stay here until you feel better." I mumbled as I ran my fingers through his hair. Nick muttered a thank you before pushing away from me, puking into the bucket Alicia brought for him. I hate seeing him like this. It was better than him doing drugs, but going cold turkey could kill him.

Two hours went by, Nick nearly choked on his own vomit and I was getting worried that Madison wouldn't come back fast enough. "Fuck it." I muttered, grabbing my house keys from the counter. Nick was asleep on the couch and Alicia was in her room. Luke always kept medication in the bathroom, so maybe I could get something to help Nick now.

I ran across the street to my house, stepping inside slowly. I stopped dead in my tracks when I noticed picture frames broken on the floor. "Hello?" I called out, reaching behind the kitchen counter for the handgun Luke always kept loaded.

I slowly stepped towards the bathroom, a low groaning coming from behind the door. "Luke, is that-AHH!" I screamed as someone grabbed onto my hair, pulling my head close to its face. I retreated as quickly as I could, pushing against the person. "Let me go!"

I ran behind the kitchen counter, pointing my gun at the person. "Luke? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Luke's eyes weren't blue anymore, they were a gross yellow colour, and he bared his teeth at me. A growl came from his mouth as he reached for me. "Luke!" I screamed, but as he advanced towards me I noticed he had a bite mark on his neck. He couldn't be what Nick had told me about...LUKE wasn't like them.

In a moment of desperation I ran around him, trying to go to the front door, but I wasn't quick enough. Luke grabbed onto me as we both toppled onto the floor. I let out a scream as I reached for my gun. "Luke, stop! Stay back!" It was no use, he continued to crawl towards me. "Luke!" I sobbed, raising the gun to his chest.

*BANG*

The bullet went through his chest, but he continued to advance. I let out another scream, pointing the gun at his head. "I'm sorry!"

Nick's POV

The gunshot rang through the neighbourhood as he ran out the front door. He staggered, barely able to keep himself up. He ran across the street into Tasha's house, only to find her sobbing on the ground. Luke's dead corpse in front of her. Nick leant down, grabbing onto her shoulders gently. "Tasha, we have to go. More will have heard that."

She continued to sob, staring into space. Nick lifted her from the ground, helping her walk across the street. "You're gonna be okay." He mumbled, pulling Tasha through the house into the bathroom. He set her down, closing the door behind him as he ran warm water onto a washcloth.

Nick began to wipe the blood off of Tasha's face as she stared into space, her sobbing no longer present. He didn't know what to say to her, so he kept cleaning the blood off of her, hoping she understood it was something she had to do.

"I killed him..." Tasha spoke quietly, her voice cracking as she dug her fingers into her arms.

Nick shook his head, grabbing onto her arms gently. "No. He was already dead, Tasha. He was already gone."

Tasha shook her head. "I didn't... I went to see if I could find you drugs, so that you wouldn't be so sick, but ... out of nowhere he grabbed me and kept trying to bite me... IT tried to get me, and I found his gun and I shot him straight in the chest... It wouldn't stop advancing, Nick, it pinned me to the ground and I shot it in the head..."

Nick grabbed onto her waist, pulling Tasha close to him. "You're safe now. I won't let anything hurt you, okay?"

Tasha nodded against his chest, tears falling down her face. "Okay."


	4. Chapter 4

**Nine Years and Now You're Here**

 **Chapter Four**

 **Who Knew**

* * *

I woke with a start, opening my eyes slowly. I noticed I was laying on a soft bed in a dark room. I felt along the bed, feeling something fleshy in my grasp.

A soft chuckle came from beside me. "Watch where you're touching, Tash."

I rolled onto my side and realized I was gripping onto Nick's arm. I let go slowly, pulling the blanket up to my shoulders. "Sorry, Nick. What time is it anyways?"

Nick smiled at me, looking down at his watch. "Nearly three o'clock. You've been sleeping like a dog the past few hours. You wouldn't even wake up for lunch."

I yawned, rubbing my eyes. "Well, I'm wide awake now." I mumbled in reply, slowly sitting up. I glanced around his room, finding nothing of importance at first, until I looked at his bedside table. He had photos in picture frames covering it, but right at the front was a photo of him and me. I felt a smile creep into my face as I looked back at him. "You still have that picture?"

I had long, choppy pink hair and I was wearing a bright purple shirt. I was about sixteen in the photo. Nick had messy hair, and was wearing sweatpants and a tshirt. The significance of this photo to me was the fact that Nick was giving me a piggy back ride.

"Of course I do." Nick replied as he slipped out of bed, stretching his long arms out. It was then that I realized he didn't have a shirt on, and I felt my cheeks get hot. "It's my favourite."

"Are you kidding? Look at me!" I critiqued, lifting the photo up to show him. "I look like an idiot."

Nick smiled, taking the photo from my grasp. "You look cute. This is the last photo I have of us since I went away. It means a lot to me."

I nodded slowly, a blush creeping onto my face. "Thanks... So, what happens now?"

Nick reached onto his floor, pulling on a tshirt. "We stay here. Mom thinks the military will have to get involved soon. Until then we stay inside."

I slid off of the bed, grabbing onto his arm. "Alright... How are you feeling?"

Nick laughed, wrapping his arm around my shoulder lightly. "Shouldn't I be the one to ask you that?"

I shrugged my shoulders as we stepped into the hall. "Drug addiction is a tough thing to beat. I already killed my boyfriend, you still have to deal with giving up drugs." A part of me was shut off. What had happened the day prior didn't feel real anymore. It felt like a dark, terrifying dream that I would never wake up from, so I shut myself away from those thoughts.

"Tasha-"

I knew what he was going to do. He was going to tell me I had to talk about it, that it was important, but in that moment I needed a distraction. "Nick, I'm okay, really, just please, distract me."

Nick looked at me for a moment before grabbing my hand and pulling me into the kitchen. "What do you want? We have cereal, oatmeal, eggs. Oh! I know-" Nick rummaged through the cupboards until he found my Favorite cereal, Special K with Red Berries.

"You remembered?" I grinned, grabbing the bowl from him. "I'm surprised."

Nick opened his mouth to speak, but slowly closed it after a moment, just continuing to smile at me. As I began to eat my cereal, Alicia stepped into the kitchen. "Hey Tashi."

"Hey 'Licia."

She was quiet for a moment, and I knew she was thinking of something to say about Luke. I sighed, turning to her as Madison poked her head into the kitchen. "You guys, I'm O-K! You don't need to walk on eggshells around me right now."

"Look, Tasha." Madison walked up to me and gave me a hug. "I know you must be going through a lot right now. But you're safe now."

I smiled slightly. "Thanks Madison, but I'm honestly okay..."

Alicia was the one to speak next. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

In that moment, my mind began to race to night before and I shivered. "You know, I'll pass, but thanks." I forced a smile as I took my bowl and trudged into the living room, sitting onto the couch.

"Jesus, you guys, give her a break." Nick's hushed voice carried from the kitchen. "She just wants to forget."

"She seems alright, mom." Alicia interjected. "Maybe she isn't, but at least she's talking to Nick."

"The last time something happened she overdosed. I just want to make sure she's okay." Madison replied to her children, sighing.

"Mom," Nick's voice was quieter now, and I had to lean my back over the couch to hear him. "I'll keep an eye on her. You know I wouldn't let anything happen to her."

I heard movement from the kitchen and I quickly sat normally on the couch. Nick sat down next to me, leaning his head against my shoulder. "My heads killing me."

"Withdrawals will do that."

I was silent for a moment, frowning. "Nick, can I ask you something?" Nick nodded, pushing his head closer to mine.

"Well, I... How could you leave? After I overdosed, I just, I don't understand." I admitted, my voice soft, barely audible.

Nick sat up, grabbing onto my arms. "Look, I'm not going to make excuses anymore. I left because I didn't want to change, and I knew if I stayed I'd drag you down with me, and I couldn't see you end up like me. You're so full of life and hope, I couldn't ruin that. After I knew you would be okay, I left. I left so you wouldn't have to worry about me."

"You leaving made me worry." I mumbled, looking away from him. "For months I was waiting for you to show up, but you never did... I mean, you didn't just leave me, Nick, you left your mom and Alicia. Do you know the hell they went through?"

Nick brought my face back to his, and I could see the remorse in his eyes. "I know. I didn't want to burden them, because I wasn't ready to change. But I am now. I'm going to do everything I can to be better."

"Why? What's different now?"

Nick was silent for a long time. He stared at me, a small smile on his face. "If I don't change now, I don't think I'd ever be able to."

I nodded, smiling slightly as I leaned back against the couch. "Alright." I couldn't look at him, my face was flushed from him staring at me and I couldn't think straight.

Nick draped his arm around my shoulder lightly, chuckling. "I missed you. I swear you're the one person I can tell anything too and you don't judge me."

I leaned my head against his shoulder. "I have faith in you, Nick. If you can get past this bout of withdrawals, you can conquer anything, just don't give up, okay? I'll be here as long as you need me to."

Nick looked at me, his eyes glossy. "What if I always need you here?"

I looked back at him, moving his messy hair away from his face. "Well, then I guess I'll just have to always be here, won't I?"

** Thank you all so much for reading my story! Make sure to leave a review! Any advice will be taken into consideration :) I absolutely love writing this story :) **


	5. Chapter 5

Nine Years and Now You're Here

Chapter Five

Dead Man Walking

* * *

*indirect mention of self harm in this chapter, near the end*

A week went by, and with it came chaos. One of those things got into the house, luckily enough we were at the neighbours completely safe - what wasn't lucky was the fact that Travis so happened to pull up without knowledge of the infected. He was fine, and Daniel, the man with him shot the infected. That's what they are, infected. They aren't people anymore.

My emotions were conflicted; I wasn't sure how to react to Luke, my one constant in my life, being ripped from me. Most nights I would stay awake just thinking about things I would have done differently. I was awful to him at times, because I wasn't in love with him... Not like I should have been. He loved me, though. And being the scared, lonely person I was I used that to my advantage, and now he's gone forever.

I felt numb. My thoughts raced through all of the possibilities of what happened to him. Had he got bit at work? On his way home? Did he think he would be okay?

Most of my belongings were still at home, but I wouldn't dare step through the door. I knew the military men removed his corpse from the house, but I didn't want to go there again. I preferred being numb to being heart broken.

The military rolled in and saved the day. Anyone who had dealt with infected was taken away, so we all lied. We had no idea where they were being hauled to, but we all speculated it wasn't good. The military swore up and down that the situation was under control now - but that's bullshit. They locked us in the community, and why? Because it's so safe we need to be locked in?

I sighed, rubbing my temples as I watched Nick floating in the pool. I had my bright purple bathing suit on and was sun tanning; which for my pale skin meant most of my body was turning a bright Crimson shade, even with layers of sunscreen.

"You're turning into a tomato, you know." Nick called out to me, covering his eyes from the sun to look over at me.

"You would too if you didn't have tan skin, Nick." I retorted, laying back against the cold grass as I shut my eyes. I then sputtered out some words in French that I had been trying to teach myself. I used to take a French class, but I wasn't that good.

Nick laughed. "Since when do you speak French?"

I shrugged, taking a deep breath as I relished in the silence. The only sound I could hear was the water in the pool slushing around from Nick's movements.

I gasped, jumping up as I felt water splash against my body. I glared over at Nick who was smirking wildly at me. "You asked for it." I mumbled, running into the pool. I splashed the water at him, only to be grabbed by his strong arms. He wound his arms around me tight. "I think I win." I could feel Nick grinning against my ear.

I shoved him back, rolling my eyes. "Fine. You win this round." My thoughts raced as I stated at him for a moment, the way his brown eyes twinkled in the sun, and the way his normally messy hair was slicked back from the water. Stop it, Tasha! Jesus, you don't need to be thinking about him like that! Stop caring!

"I'm gonna go inside." I mumbled abruptly, crawling out of the pool and rushing inside without giving Nick a second glance. I ran through the hallway into the bathroom. I needed something, something to take my mind off of what I was feeling. I didn't want to feel anything. I needed to stay numb. There was only one way to do that.

I searched through the cupboards, trying desperately to find some pill that would ease my suffering, but I found none. Of course there wasn't. Nick couldn't be trusted around any sort of pill that would help me. I sighed in frustration, turning around to leave the room, only to be confronted by a very angry looking Nick.

"What the hell were you just doing?" Nick fumed, his entire body blocking me from leaving the room.

My eyes narrowed. "I don't need to explain myself to you. You're the drug addict here, Nick. Not me."

Nick's face relaxed slightly as he stared at me. "Which is exactly why I want to know why you were looking for pills? You said you were okay."

I sighed impatiently, my heart beating faster each moment I was in close proximity of him. "You're the one stupid enough to believe me, Clark. Of course I'm not okay. My boyfriends dead, you're still looking around for drugs, and don't even get my started on Alicia-" I took a deep breath, trying to calm my thoughts. This isn't Nick's fault, stop taking out your feelings on him! "Look, I'd rather be numb than feel anything at all. It's easier that way."

Nick took a step towards me, reaching out to grab my face. "That isn't you, Tasha."

I pulled out of his grip, anger filing my chest. "What do you know about me, Nick? You've been gone so often and what? Now that the worlds gone to shit you think everything is going to go back to normal? You broke my heart! You told me so many times that you would get help, and in the end I was left alone. So don't act like you know me so well, Nick, because if you did, you'd be able to see right through all of this." I mumbled, pushing past him and into his bedroom. I laid on the bed, pulling the blanket up to my neck as I grabbed a small blade out of my pocket.

By night fall I was still laying on his bed. I hadn't eaten, but I refused to get up. I was comfortable laying in bed. My wrist ached from the pain I had caused myself, but it was nothing compared to the pain I felt when Nick realized what I had done.

Nick knelt down in front of me, moving my hair away from my face. "I know that I've hurt you. It kills me to know how much pain I've caused you, Tasha-" I winced in pain as he touched my hand, pulling it away from him. Nick raised his eyebrows, reaching forward to grab my hand, confused. He looked at my wrist, staring for over a minute at what I had done. I felt guilty, I felt terrible, but I deserved this.

Nick looked up at me slowly, and even through the darkness I could see tears in his eyes. "Why... Why would you do this to yourself?"

My voice was soft as I spoke. "Why are you a drug addict?" I retorted, staring into his tear-filled eyes.

Nick leaned over, turning the bedside light on. He then noticed the light marks covering my wrist. "Jesus... Tasha, when did you start doing this?"

I stayed silent, looking anywhere in the room but him. I couldn't make him feel any worse than I already knew he did. Nick pulled my face to look at him, a worried look on his face. "Tell me!"

"After you left the first time..." I hesitated, biting my lip. "When you ran away, I felt so lonely and I wasn't getting along with people at school- my parents found out and they got me on medication. After they died... When you left, after I overdosed, once Madison thought I was okay, I did it where no one could see... Please don't be mad."

Nick looked at me, astonished. "Mad? Jesus, Tasha." Nick sat on the bed, pulling my body tight against his. "Please don't hurt yourself again. You are worth so much, I couldn't live if I knew you died because of me. Please, don't do it again." Nick kissed my head, holding me tighter. "I'm here. I'm here, Tasha. I'm not going anywhere. You and I, we're going to get through all of this, together, alright? You and me, we're a team."

All of my secrets exposed to him, and for the first time in a long time I finally felt hopeful for the future.

*** THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! I hope you guys all enjoyed this chapter :) leave a review and let me know if you have any ideas for things you'd wanna see in this story***


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